What to do...

random thoughts that go through Baby Phenix's my mind

OK so some say when you are a child who was mentally, physically and sexually abused they will stop at the age of the trauma. If that is true, then that would explain why I sexually can switch so easily into a teen baby girl. I'm a very self sufficient "baby girl" , but still a baby girl. I sometimes think to myself where all my sexual desires stem from and well I realized it came from so many avenues. Being that I physically was a teen in the 80's, where you could hear songs on the radio like "Not too proud to beg" and "Push it! This brought on a whole generation where sex was on every young teens mouth. I realized years later sex to me became my fuel! Now understanding what kind of sex I have will determine how I feel. When I'm putting in good fuel, I'm runny good and strong but if I'm getting bad or weak fuel I become drained and run out of energy quicker.

It makes me laugh sometimes because I watch this show "lost girl" and I feel like BO is me! Trust me living this life is not easy by any means! My ex-husband yes I said ex-husband had it the worse, because he had to watch me go through it, day in and day out for many years. his love was like Loren on "lost girl" he understood I needed sexual things in my life to stay mentally healthy, but the fact he wasn't enough fuel for me hurt. because most days it was very hard to face the fact! can i resist temptation or DO I just give in.